Perhaps one of the most painful things to learn is that your spouse may be cheating on you. It can cause you to doubt many things you believed in and trusted, especially your marriage. Suspecting that your spouse may be having an affair can also cast doubts over your future together and cause you to wonder if your marriage will survive the infidelity.

Not many spouses want to appear to be jealous or suspicious, but certain changes in a spouse’s behavior and other clues can be difficult to overlook. If you have a nagging suspicion that your spouse is having an affair, you may be dealing with some strong emotions. It is important to control those emotions and think clearly about your next steps.

Finding the truth

It is rare for happily married spouses to cheat. If you suspect your spouse is unfaithful, you may want to evaluate your own satisfaction in the marriage. Meanwhile, you will likely want some confirmation that there is an affair, and it may help to keep a log of any of the following signs that often indicate spouses are cheating:

  • Taking better care of themselves, going to the gym and wearing nicer clothing
  • Adding passwords, hiding their phones or suddenly carrying more than one phone
  • Working late more often or spending more time out with friends
  • Not being where their spouses expect them to be
  • Giving too many details about where they were or what they were doing
  • Losing interest in intimacy with their spouses

You may also find unusual receipts or credit card charges that do not match the explanations your spouse gives you. If your list convinces you your suspicions are right, you have several choices, such as confronting your spouse or contacting a North Carolina attorney.

Is your marriage worth saving?

Whether you discover it yourself, your spouse confesses or someone clues you in, learning of your spouse’s affair can be devastating. You may have to do some soul searching to determine your next move. Every marriage is different, and it is not out of the question for a couple to rebuild trust after infidelity. However, it means doing some careful evaluation of your relationship, your spouse being willing to repair the damage and determining whether you really want to try to fix things.

These are not questions you should answer hastily, and you may not want to reach any conclusions until you have received some trustworthy counseling. After learning about your options, both emotionally and legally, you and your spouse will have a lot to discuss.